http://www.myfoxdfw.com/story/24779009/grand-jury-declines-to-indict-dallas-judge

http://www.myfoxdfw.com/story/24779009/grand-jury-declines-to-indict-dallas-judge

Yet another female abuser who claims victimhood.  I wonder if she was afraid that he’d leave her…

15-year-old Des Moines boy missing: Have you seen him?

How Abusive Women Brainwash You

Shrink4Men

How do so many smart men fall for toxic, abusive women? Why do they remain in painfully self-destructive relationships when their higher intelligence knows better? Many men frequently cite, “but I love her.” Do they love these women or have they been brainwashed by abusive personalities? Are they confusing love with dependence on their partner/torturer—a kind of Stockholm Syndrome?

Emotional and physical abuse wears you down over time. It erodes your confidence, independence, sense of efficacy and good judgment. Successful abusers use brainwashing tactics to disassemble your personality and extinguish your natural responses to abuse. In other words, you become numb and submissive instead of fleeing or fighting back in the face of her abuse.

Abusive women establish control over their targets by using “brainwashing tactics similar to those used on prisoners of war, hostages, or members of a cult” (Mega, Mega, Mega & Harris, 2000). Most abusers…

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Gift-giving for the Pierce County YWCA!

https://m.facebook.com/?_rdr#!/story.php?story_fbid=10151739312107691&id=91857367690&__user=100000569013636

Please consider giving to the Pierce County YWCA’s Holiday Gift Center this year! Residents at the shelter often come in with the clothes that they’re wearing, their children with maybe a small toy or two.
The link provided is just one example of what our residents are asking for.
The Pierce County YWCA shelters both male and female victims of domestic abuse and violence, as well as their children and pets.

Why Do So Many Incompetent Men Become Leaders?

Homeless for a price? $2K for a tour

The stages of healing and recovery after dating a sociopath – What to expect – a quick guide!

Dating a Sociopath

I have already written how at the end of the relationship with the sociopath you go through

• Five stages of grief and the healing process
• Grieving the person that you thought you were with

(See healing and recovery section for these posts)

It can be difficult when you are in initial stages of break up. The pain can feel overwhelming. A question that is often asked, is how long is this going to last for? Is this going to get worse? You feel awful, empty, bereft and the pain can feel overwhelming. You might be wondering how long is this pain going to last? Is this feeling forever? Will I ever recover from this? Is my life always going to be this way? You might struggle to escape, to break the cycle of addiction to the sociopath and the cycle of abuse.

A quick walk through guide to healing and…

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Blessings Beyond What is Seen

Puzzle Pieces

I sometimes think about parts people played in last year’s mess after I left my ex. One thing that bugs me is how a guy named Chris got involved.
I knew Chris in 2011– or rather, I knew his girlfriend. 2011 was a big year for stupidly getting involved with a few women who already had boyfriends. I didn’t really care back then because they were just boyfriends, not fiances or husbands.
So this guy Chris invited me into his home two years ago. Or rather, his then-girlfriend talked him into letting me come over to hang out and watch movies. A short time later, I slept with her a few days before she decided to dump him. She had given me the whole “my boyfriend neglects/abuses me and I need rescuuuuuued!” bit that the two other women I had met that year. One of them was J.
To clarify, for those who don’t know, I USED to have a Hero Complex. I USED to actually dress up as a superhero and patrol around Seattle like Phoenix Jones.
But that was another life.
So, Chris found out that I slept with his ex and began to text-stalk me for a month. I kept the texts for about a year and thought I was in the clear.
That was, until I left J. My former friend Skyler (who was aware that Chris had been stalking me and was still friends with the guy) suggested that I contact Chris and apologize. And so I did.
Chris vowed to “legally ruin my life” which sounds an awful lot like harassment. And he got into contact with J. He showed up to small claims court with her. And after I won, he paid her debt of $840 to me. And then (not surprisingly) she disposed of him once she used him for money and intimidation.
But then…how did he find out about J and I in the first place?
Was it Ben, the narcissistic asshole who I used to patrol with in Seattle? Was it someone else who knew of the situation? Or was it my “friend” Skyler, who I had caught lying to me, and who had been manipulating me for months? Poor Skyler, who stopped taking his Prozac, doubled his Limictal and collapsed a week later? Exactly how much manipulation was going on?
He continuously held against me how I cut off contact with him when I was with J. Why would he keep up an online friendship with someone who vowed to ruin my life?
When asked, Skyler blamed it (how Chris knew) on Ben and “everyone else.” Exactly how much of Skyler’s actions can be blamed on his meds and his fragmented mind?
I’ll never know the truth. Sometimes, a person is better off not knowing.

Forced Teaming: an abuser’s tactic

Upon reading Gavin de Becker’s The Gift of Fear, I’m reading chapter 4: Survival Signals. In an early chapter, the author tells the story of a client who was raped and was asked by the author to relate what red flags her rapist displayed prior to the attack. As the victim was heading upstairs after doing some grocery shopping and dropped a can of cat food.
Her attacker, who had been waiting for her outside of her apartment, retrieved the can and said, “looks like we’ve got a hungry cat up there.”
WE.
De Becker states that “forced teaming” is an effective way to establish premature trust because a ‘we’re in the same boat’ attittude is hard to rebuff without feeling rude. Sharing a predicament will understandably move people around social boundaries. It is intentional and directed.
The detectable signal of forced teaming is the projection of a shared purpose or experience where none exists: “both of us”; “we’re some team”; “how are we gonna handle this?”; “now we’ve done it”; etc.
Make no mistake. This is a predatory tactic– one used by con-artists, rapists, abusers, and the like.
At the cost of appearing rude, your best defense is to clearly refuse to accept the concept of partnership.